Hot Daniel Craig Married Rachel Weisz Already

Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz just started dating last November after she broke things off with Darren Aronofsky, and apparently they’re married already, according to Celebuzz:

Rachel’s rep confirmed to Celebuzz that the couple have indeed married, but did not provide any other details. The couple, who have been quietly seeing each other since November after filming The Dream House together, tied the knot in a low-key ceremony on Wednesday of last week, according to the Daily Mail. Held in New York, the ceremony was attended by only four people.
So, who were the lucky few that reportedly got to attend the ceremony?
According to reports, Rachel’s 4-year-old son with Black Swan director Darren Aronovsky [sic], Daniel’s 18-year-old daughter and two family friends were at the low-key ceremony.

Call me old-fashioned, but I’m pretty sure this proves Darren Aronofsky is the one who really knocked up Natalie Portman. There’s no other way to look at it.

DARREN: Are you still mad I got Natalie Portman pregnant?
RACHEL: No, not at all, Mr. Big Time Director shagging his leading actress. Although, I did just talk bloody James fockin’ Bond into monogamy, so have a wank on them bollocks over me fish and chips!

(I portray the British too accurately, I know. It’s my curse.)